All I know is that I know nothing

© 2017-Paso Robles Press

The NFL is a beautiful mystery. I consider myself almost an expert. I’ve won multiple fantasy leagues, football auctions, regularly play daily fantasy football, but after the start of this season I am confident in saying I don’t know anything. The Bills are leading the AFC East while the Patriots are in third! The Jets and the Patriots currently have the same record — how is that even possible? Last week Blake Bortles looked like a first ballot Hall Of Famer. The LOS ANGELES RAMS HAVE THE NUMBER ONE OFFENSE IN THE NFL. The Giants, who only lost five games last year, are now 0-4 and only added pieces in the offseason. I mean, Alex Smith is actually throwing the ball downfield. It’s preposterous and amazing and why the NFL is number one in America right now. If Connor from today jumped into a time machine and teleported back to the beginning of September and told Connor from then any of this, I would slap future Connor straight in the face for saying such things. The Rams are leading the league in scoring. I just had to put that in writing again because I simply can’t believe it.

The NFL is the greatest because of its parody and its sense of urgency. The best teams in baseball and basketball rarely lose because they play so many games. I’m talking about the regular season and the playoffs. The better basketball and baseball teams almost always win because it’s nearly impossible for an underdog to outperform a superior team four out seven times. Eventually they have to regress back to the mean. It makes it less fun but anything can happen in a one game sample. Every game in the NFL is so important, every game counts, every Sunday is do or die and it makes watching it so much more enjoyable.

Back to what I was saying though, I don’t know anything or anyone who pretends to know anything is a liar. For example, I was pretty certain that in order to be a great team you needed a franchise quarterback, someone who can win you a game and not someone who just tries to not lose you a game. What about the Broncos though? They have the most dominant front seven in the game and their ability to stop the run and then get pressure with just a four-man rush has wrecked gameplans and made excellent players (what I thought were excellent players because I don’t know anything anymore) look abysmal. They have faced four pro-bowl running backs this year: Melvin Gordon, Ezekiel Elliott, LeSean McCoy and Marshawn Lynch and held them to less than 100 yards. Not each of them to under 100 yards (well yes that too), I’m talking about each of them COMBINED. That’s 12 combined pro bowls that adds up to 95 yards on 50 carries. 1.9 yards per carry. Two weeks ago they went up against the Cowboys who are supposed to have the best offensive line in the league. That’s all anyone talked about last year is how amazing the Cowboy offensive line is. Dak and the boys look lost. This week they faced the Raiders who are also supposed to have one of the best offensive lines in the league. Many people rank them one and two. Well they did it again — the Raiders looked inept, Marshawn Lynch rushed for 12 yards. The Broncos defense still hasn’t given up a rushing touchdown this year.

The Steelers lost to the Bears, the Jaguars are leading their division and I feel like the only constant in this league is the Browns continuing to be dreadful. How is this happening, I find myself asking… myself. Is it due to the decreased practices and player involvement in the preseason? Some broadcasters seem to suggest that everything will straighten itself out after the first month, but I hope not.


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